With that exasperated declaration, the comedian set about unpacking the week's news on his Sunday show, HBO's "Last Week Tonight" - starting with, no surprise, President Trump's abrupt firing of FBI Director James B. Comey.
John Oliver has lobbed a giant, comedic grenade at New Zealand - or, as he prefers to call it, "wallaby f-- island". Almost a week into the fallout from Comey's firing, Oliver is just as exhausted as you are and he no longer remembers what normal weeks are like. Oliver started questioning the integrity of the White House due to the conflicting reasons they initially gave for the firing. Trump posted last week, after sharing his version of his conversations with Comey in an NBC interview with Lester Holt. "'I was thinking of the Russian Federation investigation when I fired Comey' is the one thing that you are not supposed to say out loud!" If you wanted him to confess to murder, all a lawyer would have to say is: 'Your honor, the killer could not have possibly been Donald Trump. "It was me! Lock me up!'" It's the kind of response that makes you ask three questions.
Pippa Middleton has HUGE glass marquee installed in garden
As the future queen, Kate would risk upstaging the bride and so may wish to remain in the background for the big day next week. Famous guests, in addition to Kate and William, will reportedly be Prince Harry, Meghan Markle , Ben Fogle and Roger Federer.
US astronauts conduct 200th spacewalk
However, due to the delay at the beginning of the mission, some of the secondary tasks of the spacewalk might have to be canceled. Expedition 51 Flight Engineer Jack Fischer of NASA floats inside the International Space Station while wearing his spacesuit.
In between Mr Oliver yelling at us like he's some Dad's Army general, there are clips of Bill English wearing a virtual reality headset, going for a run-walk (that was so two weeks ago), and posing with his spaghetti-pineapple pizza (that was so last month).
John Oliver called on the Republicans in Congress to keep Donald Trump in check following firing of James Comey.
But Oliver does know that it's time to Congress to step up and do something about this mess. "It's on you. Because when you've got the presidential equivalent of a 5 year old shitting on the salad bar of a Ruby Tuesday, at some point, you stop blaming the five-year-old and you start blaming the people who are not stopping him". Stop that boy, that's what I'm saying.
Earlier the Russian foreign ministry said Lavrov will have talks with his USA counterpart Tillerson on May 10. The stigma of the Russian Federation investigations has been impossible for Mr Trump to shake.
The show focuses on a suburban couple whose lives are rocked by the discovery that their children possess mutant powers. Forced on the run, Fox says, the family connects with an underground society of mutants "and must fight to survive".
Turnout will also be higher next month, although the 46.9 per cent turnout last week was higher than normal for council votes. The SNP has lost its overall majority in Dundee, although it remains the largest party there with 14 councillors.
Two trophies and Champions League football would be a successful maiden season at Manchester United for Jose Mourihho. Or their progression in the Europa League damaged their ability to compete for a top-four finish.
While Miley focuses on the sunshiny version of the city, in Courtney's Malibu the palm trees are, literally, bursting into flames. Cyrus sings of how a day sitting by the ocean made her rethink her course in life, as well as the reason for her art.
Chapman then shares the news with her son, who expresses his gratitude to his coach over the phone. "We need that. After redshirting in his first season, he appeared in 11 games in 2016 with 20 tackles and 4.5 tackles for loss.
Last year, Stamp Out Hunger netted 80.1 million pounds of food in 10,000 cities and towns, and in all 50 states. Oregonians can leave nonperishable food items in bags or boxes near their mailboxes for collection.
As for other names in the headlines, the data showed Donald, as in President Donald Trump, fell 45 spots past year to No. 488. The name Zayn also rose in 2016, which could be based on Zayn Malik, the former One Direction star, Forbes reported.
If the Tigers thought today wasn't going to be their day then a period of play around the second goal would have confirmed that. Luka Milivojevic and Patrick van Aanholt added further finishes, while the result also secured Swansea's Premier League status.
However, Murdoch has a point about the network's ratings as FNC finished April as the most-watched channel in all of cable. Fox now holds a 39.1 per cent interest in Sky, but Murdoch and his sons are determined to consolidate Fox's ownership.
Clapper: US govt 'under assault' by Trump after Comey firing
Some Republicans and Democrats alike raised alarm bells over Comey's firing, over its timing and the potential reasons behind it. The first candidate to arrive for interviews was Alice Fisher, a high-ranking Justice Department official in the George W.
NBA Draft Lottery: Will the Magic Get Lucky?
Executives for the Lakers, on the other hand? Pelinka and Johnson have mapped out potential free agents for the next five years. Sixers fans have been "trusting the process " for a number of years but 2017 may be the cherry on top for a team on the rise.
NASA won't put astronauts on first flight of new rocket
The megarocket represents a robust foundation for ultimately moving human presence out into the solar system, Gerstenmaier said. In the recent budget compromise to fund the government until October, Congress allocated NASA about $19.7 billion.
Silva, De Bruyne orchestrate City's 5-0 win over Palace
His creativity and vision was sorely missed by City in those games, and Palace didn't know how to deal with him here. Crystal Palace might be six points off the drop zone, though they still stand in danger of being relegated.
What Does Retirement Mean for Prince Philip?
Prime Minister Theresa May offered the country's "deepest gratitude and good wishes" to Philip on his retirement. But Buckingham Palace stressed he might decide to attend certain events from time to time.
Tunnel with nuclear waste collapses in Washington state
According to CBS News , the Hanford Nuclear Reservation was created during World War II to secretly build the atomic bomb. Lawyers for the Energy Department say there has been no evidence provided showing workers have been harmed by emissions.